Chantix and quitting smoking.

Okay- so I am a smoker. I don't smoke in public though and most people don't know I smoke unless I tell them. I have smoked since I was 16. I LOVE smoking. About 6 months ago, I started feeling like a smoker; tight chest in the morning coughing some and getting out of breath easy. I hate it that I get "winded" too fast. My body isn't tired, but my lungs are! So- I started Chantix today. I have tried to quit smoking so many times before. It pisses me off that nicotine has that much control over me. Hold on, I need to light a ciggie......

what was I saying? Oh yeah- it pisses me off that nicotine has control over me. I hate that!! I was smoke free for 8 months the last time I quit. 8 months! Then I went on vacation to Jamaica and thought- what the heck? It's vacation- I'll just smoke here then won't smoke when I get back home! Well, it didn't work like that!

I remember how I felt when I quit for the first week. TIRED and sluggish. I couldn't think straight. I was dizzy as hell. I know I'll go through those withdrawals again. I even gained weight those first couple of weeks. But guess what? I ended up losing weight in the long run. When I quit smoking, I had to give up all the things that go along so well with smoking. Like sodas. No more sodas. And coffee. Yep- I had to give up coffee. Nothing was better or went better together for me than a cup of coffee and a smoke! So- I know I'll probably end up giving up those things again.

Here's to breathing easier!!!

It's that time of year again!!

Back to school time! WHOOT! I had to go register 2 of the kids today- I will register two more on Monday and the high school kid next Thursday. In Indiana, you have to pay book rental and school fees. All in all it will be about $500 to get all 5 registered, not counting school supplies. The school supply list this year isn't too bad. Except for 1 of the kids. My 7th grader has to have 8 dry erase markers. I think that is a bit weird- but whatever. Together, both middle school kid have to have 10 3 ring binders.

Our first day back for students is August 12. I am so ready for it! SO ready! LOL! Truthfully, the kids are all ready to go back too. They are looking forward to seeing their friends and to start all the sports!

I have 6 months to finish school for me. I will have to really study hard to be able to finish- but I know I can do it!

Back to school we go!!!!

What a week!

We got a phone call last Thursday. It was after 11pm so as soon as the phone ring I was worried. We don't usually get calls that late. My husbands Dad had died if a massive heart attack. He had just got home from a mini vacation and had sat down in his recliner to rest. His wife had went across the street to get the mail from the neighbors house and when she came back in, she saw him and said he was already gone. She yelled for her neighbor to come help her and called 911. There was a nurse living across the street and he came over and administered CPR. He was taken to the hospital and worked on for 45 minutes, but it was just too late. The odd thing is that they stopped by Subway on the way home from their vacation. He ordered a big sub with triple the meat. The gal checkimg him out said, "this is going to give you a heart attack!" He died from a massive heart attack 3 hours later. Cue the twilight zone music!

My husband and I drive down first thing the next morning to help with arrangements. Then the viewing wasn't until Sunday and the funeral was on Monday. We stayed an extra ay to help his stepmom and just be there for her. 5 kids in that little hotel room wasn't so much fun! Actually- the kids were on their best behavior.

It was such a shock to lose him. Even though he didn't live real close, he still managed to come up and visit us and the kids and he talked to my husband all the time online!

I'm sure gonna miss your grumpy self Chad!! May you rest in peace.

I have a hard time keeping up!

I don't know why it's so hard for me to visit here and write a little something everyday or two. I am on the laptop plenty. Maybe I should put a little post it note on it that says, Don't forget to blog. Maybe it's because I'm not real interesting. Mainly my life is about kid crap. I'm sick of kid crap.

They will be going back to school here pretty soon. August 12! WOOHOO! I am finished school clothes shopping for them and just have to buy supplies.

One thing that pisses me off is registration and book rental fees. For elementary school kids it averages around $100 per kid for book rental. For high school kids it's MUCH higher. I think my SIL said she paid close to $300 for her senior last year for book rental fees! ARGH! My husband wants to go this year and just tell them we don't want to rent books but we would rather just BUY a set! LOL! He is such a dork!

My husband just got a new and improved job! It will be nice having him around more and him not having to drive so far for work. He will have a little bit of time off before starting his new job to get some things caught up around here. I think he and I will go and stay in a hotel for a night or two somewhere.

We should be getting our new outdoor water furnace this weekend. With the rising prices of gas, we thought it would be a good buy. We live out in the middle of the woods and we have plenty of downed trees we can use and plenty of wood to cut. It's a big unit that sits outside. You only have to fill it up twice a day. It heats water on a tank on top of it and the water is what heats the house. Hopefully it will work well and be more energy efficient.

Okay- that's all I can think if today!

Take Me Out To the Ballgame!

It's been a long time since I have written. I'll try and be more frequent. I mean heck- my blog is SO exciting! LOL!

Isaiah made All Star Baseball. We didnt expect it at all. This year was his first year ever playing baseball. He was the only rookie that made the All Star Team. So- every weekend is full of running to other towns for baseball tournaments. It's really not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I am having fun watching him play and also it's nice to hang out with some of the other parents.

School is going well. I feel like everything is starting to click. I just hope I can get my speed up!!

I'm SO looking forward to next weekend. Emmy and Isaiah will be at their Dads, Jake and James are going out of town with their Granny to help her move, Gracie is staying with my Mom and Murf has to work the entire weekend! Isaiah has a state baseball tournament out of town so I am going to go and get a hotel there and go watch his games. He is with his dad, so I will be alone for the whole weekend! WOOHOO!!! I even found a hotel that has suites with a hot tub in the room for a very resonable price!! Oh Yeah Baby!! No kids! No one but me!

Mothers Day

My day was pretty good. I woke up and my husband went and got me breakfast. I just rested, watched TV and read today. I did go to my Moms for a little bit to give her her prezzie.

Looks like a busy week to come. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and Isaiah has baseball practice in the evening in town. Jake and Isaiah both have games on Tuesday. There is one at 6 then one at 8. So, I will be at the ballpark from 5:30 until 10! My Mom is gonna come over and be with the kids that don't have to go. I don't want Gracie to have to be there that long, and even though the 2 older kids are old enough to be here alone- I don't feel right about leaving them for that long. An hour or two maybe, but not that long.

My SIL is having a purse party on Wed., I will be going to that and taking the 2 girls with me.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday are baseball days again!

I do plan on studying a lot this week during the daytime hours when the kids are at school. I have to commit to more time than I am now. I can't let other things that need to be done around the house come before school. It's hard not to though!

Murf was in a good mood all weekend, then started getting a little grumpy just a little bit ago. I know it's because his weekend is over and he is back to work tomorrow. Poor guy has no time through the week for anything other than driving to work, work, and sleeping.

-Text messaging-

We got a family text plan last week. The kids had to watch how many texts they were sending before, then we got smart (after a big texting bill) and got the unlimited text plan. OMG- I can't believe how much they are texting. It's insane! The funny part is that we live in the country and don't even get a cell signal in most places. So- i see 2 of the teens out in the driveway sitting in the back of Murf's truck texting. They can get a signal there. Or sitting on the picnic table in the back yard, or standing in a certain spot in the yard! I can't imagine how many times they would be texting if they could get a signal in the living room or in their room! LOL! I've heard people say that they could get carried away with texting- now I understand!

I'm happy that they have it, really. It beats them fighting over the telephone and they spend less time online now too!

Happy Mothers Day to all the Moms out there!!!!!!

This poor 15 year old boy!!!

My husband and I have full custody of his 2 boys. I am helping to raise them- well actually with his new work schedule, I AM raising them! Their mother is mentally ill. It is so hard dealing with someone mentally ill. She has made parts of our life hell for the last 9 years. I never know when the phone rings and i see it's her, if it is going to be a civilized conversation or if she is going to cuss me out and and hang up on me. I can take it. What I can't stand it when she cusses out the boys. We are having a problem with the oldest boy, J, not wanting to go to her house for her visitation. We do talk him into going or sometimes just flat out make him go for the most part. Now, when there is something important scheduled on her weekend, we don't force him to go. He doesn't trust her to get out of bed and take him where he needs to go. This weekend, he was asked to come to a pitching clinic for baseball. The coach only asked a few kids to come and he was one of them. It is early on Saturday morning and he really wants to go. He is supposed to go to his Moms this afternoon, but told me he wanted to go to the pitching clinic tomorrow, then go to her house afterwards. He called her to explain and she cussed him up one side and down the other and put him on a guilt trip. After she treated him like that, he said he wasn't going to her house at all this weekend. Then she called back to talk to me. I tried explaining that she is pushing him away- every time he asks to stay home and she throws a fit- it pushes him away. That every single visitation weekend he doesn't want to come and we force him to, that once in awhile, it is okay for him to miss. He is 15 and before long it will be up to him and he won't EVER go- if she keeps it up. Of course, I get to hear how awful and horrible and I am. Then i just told her that i was sick of her cussing me and calling me every name in the book to the boys- that i am raising her children for HER and that deserves some respect! UGh- she ended up yelling and hanging up on me. I tried to call her back to tell her that I would MAKE him go to her house on Mothers Day, but she wouldn't answer. I called 84000 times and she would never pick up and she doesn't have an answering machine. OMG- I am so sick of dealing with her and feel so bad for the boys for having to go there. She keeps threatening to take us to court if we don't force them to come to her house. She told the oldest last night that if he didn't come she was gonna take his dad to court and they would throw him in jail! LOL! When I talked to her- I told her to quit threatening the kids with that- that there was no way they were gonna throw Murf in jail because our 15 year old son missed one weekend visitation every 3 or 4 months! That maybe instead of threatening it- she could just go ahead and file something so we could get this settled once and for all!

UGH! This boy is 15! What a shame that he has to go through this! It makes me sick for him!

I don't usually have to talk to her directly or have to deal with her. Murf usually handles it- but he wasn't home- and they never get anything resolved between the 2 of them- so I tried to help. Harumph! Some help!

I'm sure I'll have another day of dealing with her! Lord help me!!!

Money isn't everything!

I have finally had enough of my husbands work schedule. I seriously am about to have a melt down. I am supposed to be doing school during the day while the kids are at school- but when am i supposed to get everything else that needs done done? I mean, as soon as they get home from school, I am super busy- getting dinner made, running back and forth to town, helping with homework or stupid projects that get assigned! I don't mind projects so much for the middle school kids, but when my 9 year gets the assignment to build a solar system- i think it's bullshit. Seriously- like he is gonna be able to do it?

There comes a time when you realize that money isn't that important. Sure, you have to have enough to live- but isn't that enough? I'm grateful that my husband makes great money- i am. But the cost to our family is too high now. I feel like a single mom with a checkbook. The kids only see him on weekends and on occasion very briefly through the week. I am responsible for everything here. (aside from money of course) All things kid. I have a 15 year old boy, a boy that will be 13 in a couple of weeks, a girl that will be 13 in less than a month, a soon to be 10 year old boy, and Gracie who is 7. They are good kids, really. I am constantly breaking up bickering between the 3 teens though. Lawsy jane- I can't believe how much they like to bicker. I have come to believe that they really enjoy it! They seek out ways to aggravate each other (and me in the process)!
I am not one to cry real easy. I never have been, but lately I can cry at the drop of a hat. Especially when it has to do with something coming up that I haven't planned. Like a make-up baseball game for tomorrow, or my oldest forgetting to tell me he has a school dance TOMORROW! It doesn't seem like major things, but when you have to drive 20 minutes each way, then figure out what to do with (or feel guilty for all the time the teens spend alone) the other 4 kids- it gets you down!

Sorry if I've gotten anyone "down" by this post. I'm just so overwhelmed right now-

Just stuff!

Sometimes I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Then the weekend comes! AHHH! My husband is home on the weekends and can help me with the 5 children. He can help me run them to town and pick them up from their activities. We sit and talk after the kids go to bed- real grown-up talk! We eat as a family! I just love the weekends!

I got all the laundry done and the house totally cleaned this weekend! I love the feeling of everything clean and put away. Even though- with 5 kids, I know it won't last!

I am going shopping again today with my oldest daughter. She is finishing up the 6th grade and has never made a B in her life. She has been a straight A student all through school so far- so I feel like that deserves a special gift. Not a gift for being smart, but a gift for being disciplined. I know it's frivilous, but I plan on buying her a small Coach purse. She would really like to have one and I feel like she deserves it.

I'll post more after our shopping adventure!

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OOOhh! Fun was had! She got the cutest little coach purse! It's a signature bag with bright colors on it. I also got the signature bag with the blue handles I have been wanting forever! Too cute! She was so excited- and it's fun watching her "fuss" over that bag!

Okay- I also got a pair of sunglasses. Last year I bought a pair of fairly inexpensive sunglasses and told myself that if I could keep them for a year and not break them or lose them, then I would spring for the ones I really wanted! So, a year has passed and I still have those glasses. Now, I have the ones I really wanted too!

What a great day!! The best part is- my husband paid for my purse and sunglasses for an early Mothers Day gift!!

GRRR!!

Okay- so it sucks to be sick on the weekend! I have had a fever and my chest feels like someone is sitting on it! I think it might be bronchitis- I get it a couple times a year. I dunno- I am just TIRED of being sick! It started with a cold and moved to the chest. Everyone knows that Moms can't get sick! DUH!

I'm ready for Monday too. I may one of the few people in the world who likes Mondays! The kids go back to school! WOOHOO! I get the house to myself! WOOHOO!

Today, my husband was out on the bush hog all day. He got so much done outside. I love the smell of fresh cut grass! It smells so good! I feel bad because while he was out working, I was inside laying around! I did manage to get a couple loads of laundry done- but that's not even enough. I do it all tomorrow. Hopefully, I will be feeling better! Well, it doesn't matter, feeling better or not, it'll have to get done. Ah- the joys of motherhood!

Okay- whiny bog rant over!

Finished with the Biggest Part of school! Bye Bye Theory!

I took my very last Theory class yesterday! Court Reporting school has an 80% drop out rate. Not my school or any 1 school- but an average of all the schools! Of that 80%, most of those drop during Theory- and I made it through it! There were many times that I wanted to throw my machine through the window! There were many times i was in tears by then end of a lesson. Now, I have to finish up a Legal terminology class, medical terminology class and work on speed building. I get asked so many times how much longer i have to finish. I don't have an answer to that. During speed building- you have to pass a speed before you can move on to the next speed. So if you get "stuck" on a speed- you have to stay in that "class" until you pass it. So the time frame varies person to person.

To treat myself for finishing this part- i took myself for a date today! I went and got a pedicure and then went for Chinese! Truthfully, getting a pedicure isn't one of my favorite things to do- but with flip flop season on the horizon- I know I Needed one! I have cute toes and soft feet! Oh yeah- and a fully belly!

So- Curtis- shuffle me up some celebratin' songs!!

1.Low- T-Pain
2. Blowin in the wind- Joan Baez
3. Rocky Top- Loretta Lynn
4.Steel Drums- Jamaican music
5. Pink- Aerosmith
6. LipGloss- Lil Mama
7. Once in awhile- Akon
8. Bless the Broken Road- Rascal Flatts
9. Holiday- Greenday
10. Boom! I got your Boyfriend- Salt-N-Peppa

The very LONG night!

We have a finished basement. It has 3 bedrooms and a den in it. Last night we got the kids tucked in. About a half an hour later one comes upstairs and says, "I think there is a bird in my room. I can hear something in the ceiling rafters." My husband goes downstairs. A few minutes later, 2 of the kids come running upstairs. It wasn't a bird- it was a MOUSE! Now- in case you don't know- I am scared to death of mice. Petrified of them, is more like it! Apparently, the mouse was on the ledge around the top of the ceiling- when my husband hit the wall to see what was up there- it JUMPED down and landed in one of the kids beds then took off! I was scared. But, since it was downstairs, I figured I'd still be able sleep in the house.

About an hour later, something catches my eye in the living room. It was a MOUSE coming out of the fireplace! I scream and jump up on a chair. My husband just stands there! Then a few minutes later I see a mouse around the fireplace again! My husband said it was the same mouse as the first one (around the fireplace). At this point, I'm at heart attack stage. I'm thinking maybe my house is getting over run with mice! I'm thinking there is no way I can sleep in this house tonight. No way- with MICE! ACK! I tell my husband that I am getting a hotel room in town. Well, that didn't set very well with him. We ended up arguing about how "crazy" it was for me to be that scared of a little ole mouse! Whatever! Crazy or not- the fear is there. I give in and go to bed, but I keep the bedside light on and every little noise I heard I was like, "Hey- what was that?" I was still up at 3am looking around the room! LOL!

My husband was not happy because I also kept him up with my, "Did you hear that?" and "What was that noise?" every few minutes! Well, I told him- I shoulda got the hotel room!

This morning he is supposed to go get some poison or something. All I know is- it was a VERY long night!

Basketball, Baseball, Sick Days and my Ipod name!

Today was my sons very last AAU basketball game of the season. It was good/bad. Good because of all the running all over. The practices, the games. Bad because I know he'll miss it until next season. He really does play well and I'm proud of his season.

Baseball season is up and running. I have 2 boys in baseball this year. One on the Senior league and one in the minor league. I just got the schedules for both boys and it looks like I may just need to pop a tent at the ballpark because most of my days will be spent there. One week, I will be there 6 days! LAWSY JANE! It is fun watching the boys play, so as much as I may grip about living at the ballpark, I'll enjoy every minute of watching them play!

Sick days! My husband has been sick. Men don't make very good sickies! My little one, Gracie, has also been sick. Now my oldest daughter is not feeling well and I am getting sick! it's gotta be this kooky weather! It was in the high 70's last week. Beautiful sunny days! The last 2 days have been 40 and cold, windy and rainy! We may even get some snow tonight! Not much accumulation- but 1 freakin flurry is 1 flurry too much! I want those 70 degree temps back! I want the sun back!

I'm so so happy I found my Ipod! I missed it. It's a beauty! It's bright turquoise and full of my favorite tunes! I call it Curtis!

So shuffle up for me Curtis!

1. It's 5 o'clock somewhere- Jimmy Buffet and Alan Jackson
2. This everyday Love- rascal Flatts
3. Walk This Way- Run DMC & Aerosmith
4. Holiday- GreenDay
5. When You're good to Mama- Chicago musical soundtrack
6. Never took the Time- Akon
7. Let's Go Crazy- prince
8. Crazy- Patsy Cline
9. Low- T-pain
10. Cry Cry Cry- Joaquin Pheonix- Walk the Line Soundtrack

HUMP DAY!

Well, what a week! I found out one of my favorite places ever will be closing down. It's not a place I can drive to or fly to. It's not a "physical" place. It's a message board. I know, I know- that sounds like no big deal huh? But this place is different. I have been a member for 6 years now. That's longer than I was married to my first husband! (whom I have 2 kids with!) I have met the most amazing people there! I have went to fun gatherings and laughed and cried and grew as a woman. It has really molded me into who I am now. When my Best friend in the world died, these Ya-Ya's were there to hold me up and help me through it. No matter what is going on, I know I could go there for support, advice, or even to lend MY support to someone.

On a HAPPIER note- I found my Ipod! I can't believe I lost it in the first place! I have 5 kids and each of them have an Ipod. No one has lost theirs- well, except for ME! It has been missing for about 7 months and just when I was thinking it was gone forever, I FOUND IT! What a beaty this little turquiose gem is! I have missed all the new music I had put on it!

So- Let's shuffle up!

1. Fat Bottom Girls-- Queen
2.The Long Day is over-- Nora Jones
3.click click boom--saliva
4. Turn me on- Diana Krall and Norah Jones
5. Loosen Up Buttons- Pussycat Dolls
6. You just call out my name- Carly Simon
7.When the Sun Goes Down- Kenny Chesney & Uncle Kracker
8. All Jacked Up- Gretchen Wilson
9.Remember The Name- Fort Minor
10.I Walk Alone- Green Day

Work! Work! Work!

The only time we have to work outside as a family is on the weekends. My husbands work schedule prevents him from having ANY daylight time at home! That means I am the one doing all the running to the activities that all of the kids have! From volleyball lesson to baseball practice and soon games, from basketball practice and running my oldest daughter to the Vets for her internship! I study all day trying to finish school- and run all evening! AHH- the joys of parenthood.

So today we cut up a fallen tree, cut up wood, cleaned the yards and drug limbs to a brush pile! Then for a treat, after dinner we built a campfire to roast marshmallows! Okay, okay- so Murf (my husband) and I really had a "Survivor competition". He bought some flint- one for each of us. We tied some twine a few feet off the ground. On ready, set, go; we had to run and get our materials and see who could build a fire big enough to burn through the twine the quickest! Let me tell ya- it's a lot harder to get fire with the flint than it looks! I did finally get a fire, but Murf beat me burning through the twine! The kids were standing there cheering us on too! It was a lot of fun. Then we moved the fire to the fire pit outside and sat out and listened to all the lake sounds!

What a great way to end a BUSY weekend!

Family Night!

Tonight was Survivor night! All 5 of our kids gather around the living room and we watch together. We have done this for a LONG time now! They have even started pulling out the sleeper sofa and piling on there! During the final episode we even all place bets on the winner. To make it fair though, we put the names in a hat- and each kid puts a dollar in and draws a name! Well, every kids except Emily. She is WAY to tight with her money to bet it! It's so funny because every year she says, "No way! I'm not gonna lose MY money!"

We took out Saint Bernard, Yogi to get neutered. We had to drop him off yesterday evening and we got to pick him up this afternoon. We all missed him so much last night. It was weird not having a dog in the house. (Our older Saint Bernard died a few weeks ago) He was SO happy to see us when we picked him up. My daughter, Emmy, was able to go back to the kennels to get him. She started an internship at the vets office last summer, so they just let her go on back. Poor guy, has just laid around all evening and has even cried a little bit! So, I cooked him up some chicken to make him feel better! :) As I type this he is fast asleep and snoring very loudly!

I managed to study ALOT this week! I should be finished with theory by the end of the month and moving on to speed building. WHOOP! GO ME!

Internet Woes!

We have high speed internet. I think it's a satellite internet or something like that. I don't care WHAT it is, I just care HOW FAST it is. I can't stand waiting for pages to load. I can get up and go take a shower while waiting for a page to load lately! GRRR! We've tried calling- but we have had so much trouble, I think they are sick of hearing from us. Guess who is getting another call tomorrow? Yep!
I was thinking today (while waiting for a page to load) what in the world did I do before I had the internet. Of course. you don't miss something you never had- but I was hesitant to even get internet service! Good Gravy! I'm so glad I have it now. If I don't know the answer to something, Google is always happily waiting for me to type my phrase in that lovely bar up there! It keeps me connected to other adults too. I have 5 kids- and sometimes it's so nice to turn on the laptop and talk with other adults! I have made friends all over the world with this magical square shaped wonder machine!

My first Blog post

Okay- so this is my first time blogging. Well, I can't really say that because a little while ago I wrote out my first one, then lost it all! GRRR! It was quite clever too. I can't get it back because you just can't recreate that kinda clever folks!

I'm just starting to get over the flu. You know Moms can't get sick. Well, they can- they just can't act like they are sick! The first thing my kids say when they come in from school is, "are you feeling better yet?" I know that sounds sweet, like they are really concerned about me. It's not though. the real reason is: Are you feeling better because I need some clothes washed, I need you to cook instead of Dad, I need you to help me with my homework, I need you to run me to town....... HA! That's the real reason. I am feeling better today, but not laundry, cooking, homework, or errand running better. Poor kids- whatever are they to do? LOL!

I've only read a couple of Blogs. The whole time I was thinking about starting a blog, I wondered what the heck I would write about. the other couple of blogs I have read are so creative. I know very little to nothing about this blogging thing- but I'm gonna try. Bear with me people- it may take me awhile to get the hang of this!